Where do I begin? Well, I've now been a first time father a
little while but what has compelled me to start this blog was the fact that
while going through the growing pains of this new life changing experience all
I found, by the way of advice, where articles for mothers.
Now I'm no guru yet but I will do my best to share my trials and
tribulations, lessons learnt and information gleaned from various sources along
the way. But, I also encourage you to get involved with your stories and tips
as we build a community here to help each other and future first time dads.
I will from time to time do some back-tracking to recap how I
got this far. Edward my first son is two now so I've made it through the tough
first year, and the changes of the second year. All of which I will go over in
time in a bid to catch up to present day…
So
where to start…
How
does a bloke prepare to be a dad? The transition from man to father just
doesn't happen instantly when the baby arrives. Sure, you life perspective
changes dramatically in an instant but there's a lot to learn and unless you're
lucky, you're on your own to figure it all out.
I feel there is a lack of recognition of the impact of a child's
birth on a new-dad, which in some cases could lead to a lack of involvement
in their child's early life. After all it's easy to fell pushed out
when life suddenly is focused 100% on the new baby, breast feeding every hour
or two and so on. The fear of not measuring up as a new dad is rarely
discussed. Society as a whole treats the dad as a secondary consideration,
until recently paternity leave was really all about the mother as the father
has to go back to work after just two weeks.
Mens feelings and fears should be discussed so men have the
confidence to take their place as equal partners. In my case I had been made
recently redundant and so I was on hand. I got up for every nappy change and
feed through the night and we both caught a nap when ever he was asleep -
when we could that is, as you often find thats when you race around cleaning
up, grabbing a bite to eat or doing other chores you otherwise couldn't get
done. Just like mothers, fathers need to establish a relationship with
their baby and find their own parenting role.
According to research, a father's early involvement in his
child's life is linked to his later parenting confidence. It's important that
men be given the opportunity to become active participants in not just the
birth but also the pregnancy, so that they feel part of the process and not just
a support act or member of the cheer squad.
I was lucky enough to be involved throughout. I sourced and
purchased a Doppler so we could hear our babies heart beat when ever we felt
the need. Once he was born it was only a matter of weeks until he was on the
bottle which gave me a great opportunity to really bond and get involved.
Here are some basic practical ideas:
Keep track of the baby's development
Expectant mothers need little reminder of impending parenthood.
Morning sickness, a growing waistline and foetal gymnastics ensure mothers are
fully aware of their babies. Dads don't have to be left out. They can attend
antenatal classes and their partner's check-ups and ultrasounds to keep up to
date with the baby's progress.
Get ready for the baby's arrival
Prepare a nursery, shop for some basic first outfits (neutral if
your waiting for a surprise) and help choose the baby's name.
